One of the first things I do with new clients is to send them a list of questions to reply to, some basic stat-type questions and also things like "what is your favorite food?" to help me get to know them better. I ask them what their goal or purpose is during our time together, whether it be weight loss or establishing healthy eating habits or exercise routines. I am not a personal trainer, so I always leave the client in charge of their exercise by asking them what they love to do, what makes them feel good? And what they plan to do to make the changes they want to see. Some of the most common replies are things like:
"I'm going to start running 5 days a week!"
"I'm going to go to the gym every day!"
"I'm going to crossfit (or yoga or zumba or ____) 3 days a week and then run the other days!"
"I'm going to workout every day except Sunday!"
They are excited and ready to make changes and see changes, I absolutely understand- culture and Instagram, that friend on her 2-shake-a-day diet and friend who is in the gym 7 days a week tell us that's what we have to do to reach our goals. They tell us that is what is important. That we have to make time for it, for "us". You want to lose weight or be healthy? Exercise and exercise. We openly support those who clearly have exercise addiction or unhealthy relationship with exercise (yes, this is a real, true thing) and cheer them on as they reach their run streak of 1,000 days. I get it. I have been there, and the same applies to diet as well. My reply is always the same: HOLLLLDDDD ON. If you haven't come from a lifestyle of working out that often, you are going to burn yourself out (heck, even if you are used to it, you will burn out). Step back and make realistic goals that you can achieve and accomplish. Not ones that are going to consume you and leave you feeling like a failure if you don't complete it all.
Just last week I was feeling completely guilty. This semester of school is requiring more of my time, resulting in many more super late nights than I'd like. I was unable to make it to both of our morning run groups that week and quickly fell into the trap of guilt and self-disappointment.
"why can't I get it together"
"plenty of other moms/students function on 4.5 hours of sleep a night- why can't I make myself deal"
"I'm so not going to meet my mile goal this month"
Then I made myself feel better by working out at home those days. Although it didn't really make me feel any better- it just allowed me to cross it off my list. I got my workout in- it's been a productive day. A perfect example of disordered relations with exercise.
Yes, ya'll. I am human and I go through all kinds of thoughts and feelings about exercise and food. This is one of the reason's that I can relate to so many women- I have been there and I am not afraid or too prideful to admit that there are seasons of struggle. There just are. So many people think that when someone loses weight, that it's "fixed". That they are "done" and have no more struggles. That all of a sudden, that 30lb loss made them champions of clean eating and that their exercise routine is really and truly only about feeling good (weight control or loss is almost always the ulterior motive). Honestly, I'm here to say that the loss is the easiest part of the journey. Thankfully, I can easily get myself of out these mental traps and don't actually live in them or let it truly control me.
Diet...what you eat (or don't eat) and working out is.not.life.
You have to find a balance- because both can consume you and you can miss out on so much of real life thinking about what to eat and spending precious time in the gym or hours and hours running and training. Many hours-long weekend morning runs are no longer worth missing out on pancake breakfasts and coffee with my husband and kids. Hours a morning in the gym are no longer worth the time it took away from teaching my kids those mornings. I can't define what is and what is not worth it for you, only you can do that! But unless exercise is your paid career- time with family and friends should always top it! <3
Tips on how I find balance:
-Be realistic with my schedule. Because I am a Mom and I homeschool my crew as well as go to school myself; my schedule is all over the place and things pop up that are not planned. I don't plan to run at 5am during the week, because more than likely I will be up late studying.
I ditched the gym membership and invested in some home gym equipment. Cheaper in the long run and what is truly the most flexible for us. I can workout at any time I want or need, day- night, evening. I will only commit to long runs on the weekends if I make it to a morning run during the week I consider it a bonus! I'm not setting myself up for disappointment by setting a rigorous workout schedule that I can't live up to in this season of my life. Every family is different, you may not have the resources or room for a home gym, you may love your local gym and need the childcare, you may not be in school and be able to wake up really early to workout! The important thing is to be realistic and flexible, don't let missing a workout bring you down- there is more to life.
-Remember WHY. Always keep a running list of WHY you are doing what you are doing to begin with! You don't want to become obsessed and let it overtake your life, but you don't want to give it up either!
-EAT. Stop dieting and learn how to eat. Eat and lift. Eat and train. Eat and run. Eat and do your thing. Food is not your enemy, nor are carbs and fat. Find a balance, and that doesn't mean you have to track macros to have balance. We all know the basics of nutrition! Eat mostly what comes from the earth! Watch your portion sizes, drink a lot of water and don't cut any one food group out! You really do need them all! Don't get caught up eating fake health food; shop the perimeter of the store and discover the joy of eating! I am so thankful my journey began with health vs weight because when I started this, it was 100% about my health. I didn't track, count, weigh or anything. I chose healthy foods and it started from there, I am thankful for that foundation that I always come back to! Even if you started out for weight-related reasons, it's never to late to ditch diets and focus on fueling your body with the nutrients you need to be the best you can be.
-Unfollow the Extremist. No, really. Go into IG and unfollow all of the people who send you the wrong message about fitness and nutrition. If you struggle with exercise addiction, unfollow the people in your feed who are at the gym or running 24/7. If you struggle finding balance with your diet, unfollow the isagenix ladies. If you struggle with body image and acceptance, unfollow the size 2 models with flawlessly fake bodies. It is not going to help YOU in your journey to compare yourself to people you don't know- who can live in the gym all day or are showing you a picture of their weight loss shake for every meal or who have amazing bodies as a result of: plastic surgery, exercise obsession and dieting. DO: find the people who have found a balance and live it. Who are real about the ups and downs, the struggles and the victories. Who make you feel good- not guilty or like you are not adding up. My current favorites on IG are :
@jennakutcher
@mamaontherun
@runningonveggies
@thereallife_rd
@hipfoodiemom1
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